The Sun In My Heart; An Arachnoiditis Survivor’s Ode to Spring re-posting from Poetry by Survivors April 28, 2015 in honor of National Poetry Month. (A Poem about coping with Chronic Pain Inspired by the warm morning sun and The Cat In The Hat by Dr. Seuss) © Sheila L. Kalkbrenner The sun, how it shown It was too bright to stay In the dark in the house On this warm, warm, spring day I sat there with wonder On the deck, in the sun And I said, "How I know There is much to be done!" The seeds did just sprout And the debris from the fall Still sits over the lawn So, I wrote a new list Found my yard shoes and all. So, all I could do was to Rake, Dig, And Plant And Oh! How I loved it! Every little bit! And When Something went Buzz! And I heard a loud Chirp! I looked! Then I saw them hovering about The Bees! And the Robins! Spring! I had to shout! And they chirped and buzzed As I worked with the dirt in and out. I know I’ll be tired But the sun is so sunny And I can have Lots of good fun that is funny! I know some new ways that I can rest In Between I know some new tricks So it won’t be so mean. A lot of new things I can do just for me My Body Will not mind at all what I do. But, that Voice said, “No! No!” Make that urge go away! Tell the Sun and the Seeds You just cannot go to play. You should stay down here. You should NOT move about. You must be still here When your Body’s worn out!” “Now! Now! Have no fear. Have no fear!” said my Heart. “These things are not bad,” Said the Heart that is smart. “Why, we can have Lots of good fun, if we move, With one step at a time We will get in the groove!” “Lay me down!” said the Pain. “This is no fun at all! Lay me down!” said the Pain. “You do know I could fall!” “Have no fear!” said my Heart. “We will go slow, start small. We will do little bits And rest to keep tall With our tools in one hand And our mat on the ground This work is not all we can do! When the sun is around! “This is great! Moving right now!” said my heart. “With my hat on my head And my gloves in the dirt I can plant these new seeds I can work with my hands And find edible weeds! To be food on my dish And know I got up on my own, in the sun Careful not to fall But knew That was not all…. Slow at first Nothing worse Pacing the time It is fun in the sun But you have to know how. I can slowly get out With the plants and the trees I will rest in the grass I will do as I please. At the pace to enjoy All the warm things around And Look! With Good sense I can breathe with the Pain I can work or have fun And it’s keeping me sane! But that is not all. Oh, no. That is NOT all… That is what my Heart said… It’s not all in my head. I get up. I get down. From the Spring to the Fall And Pain is NOT The One Boss of it all! And my heart can sing, too With Bees and with Birds I will know all the words. I work, then I rest I know when it is time I will stop when I should Shining is good! Now look what I’ve done I have found a new way Inside or outside I can choose every day! I worked and listened The pain, will always stay But my heart’s here, too It can come out to play. It should not be stuck When my body cannot I am out of the house And I like it a lot!! And it likes to be here My heart, likes it a lot. The green and the sun It really hits the spot. “I will NOT hide away When the pain makes me slow! And so,” said my Heart in the Sun So, So, So, I will listen And do this the way that we know!” My Body gave out. But then strong as an ox The faith in my Heart Said, “Get out of this box!” “It’s a hard dark box. It is shut with a hook. But look at this trick,” Said my Heart. “You can look!” There is a hole in the top The sun shines through this part. It gets you out of the dark box,” Said my Heart. “In this spot there are things That will show you just how To reach through these walls But, you must want to now. Love will pick up that hook You will see something new. Two things. And I call them New World and New You. These things will not bite you. They want to have fun. Then out of the box I walked into the sun! My breath it came so fast It said, “What will you do? Would you like to find hope With New World and New You?” My Body said I Was not sure what to be BE But I chose to find strength In New World and New Me. I looked at them hard. And my heart said, “Go, Go!” They will let you get out but, you must go slow!” You need to be there The old body it’s not Take it slow. Let it show. It’s the one that you’ve got. “No fear of the pain,” Said the love in my heart. “Can stop these Two Things.” And then slowly I sat. “They are strong. Oh, so strong They have come here to stay They will give you much love On the best and worst days.” “See Them. Just There. Next to Old You?” Said my Heart. “They work for new life,” Said the Sun in my Heart. “Yes! The pace is slow And your body is on the cot But you should not stay In the BOX! You should not! Oh, the things you will miss! Oh, and miss you they will! You have got to try it! You are ALIVE STILL.” Then my Body said, “I Cannot run down the hall. I will try these new things And get up when I fall.” Bump! Thump! Thump! Bump! My hands broke down the wall. New Me and New World They woke up! They sat down! Like the string of a kite It all floated around. The light of the day The warm blue, green, and gold Lifted the lid of the box And renewed what was old! Then these things walked about With deep breathes, and short steps And with hope and small dreams In search of New Tricks And I said, “This is NOT the Old Way that I played My body may fight it But, it’s moving today.” Then my Heart said, “look! Look!” And I knew something was near “Your body is hurting now! Do you hear? Oh, What will you do with it? How will you stay? Up in this Life, like this Will you hide it away?” “You must decide fast!” said my heart. “Do you hear! It’s your Life. Your Moment. Just getting shorter While you waste it right here. Think of something to do! You will have to work hard For New World and New You!” So, taking a small step I reached out for the rail And I said, “With some help I can get there I bet. I bet if I ASK I will find those things yet!” Then, I held tight to the rail Moved forward from the top Pain, it came back. A rest. These Two Things would not stop. Then I said to the Pain, “Now, I know you will stay But, step to the side These things can make a New Way!” “Okay” said the Pain. “I will stay by your side… Oh, dear. I can’t go I can’t go But you know Your Two New Things opened That dark box with the hook And we both can get out If we know how to work Together, It’s good.” said the pain. “We’ll do it your way, Yes. But your body will hurt. WE MIGHT MAKE A BIG MESS! And it may be so big And so deep and so tall, We cannot pick it up There may be no way at all!” But, then! Who was back for the day? Why, my Heart! “Have no fear of that mess,” Said my brave little Heart. “We’ve lived through this thing And so… There is always another Good trick you should know. Then, I felt it reflect On the times I was down. It remembered the pain With cold snow swirling ‘round And the shakes, and the grief And the aches, and the burn And the looks, and the wish For some sleep, and the night And it put them away And it said, “Now it’s Time.” And it showed the grace And the joy in between. Then my Body and Heart Said to the Pain, “Without any Fun? Tell us. What does it mean?” Tired of pain I did not know what to say. Can I look for The grace and the joy of each day? With this Pain will I see it Now, what will I do? Well… What would you do IF your Body asked YOU? ~slk © Sheila L. Kalkbrenner Visit the original post here: https://artforarachnoiditis.org/2015/04/28/the-sun-in-my-heart-a-survivors-ode-to-spring/ #arachnoiditisawareness #artmatters #poetrymonth OLYMPUS DIGITAL CAMERA

This winter has been all about transitioning into creating more live offerings for local patrons. This month, I am getting ready to start a new adventure with an all new intense wellness experience. Let’s get ready to rumble! “A rumble is a discussion, conversation, or meeting defined by a commitment to lean into vulnerability, to stay curious and generous, to stick with the messy middle problem identification and solving, to break and circle back when necessary, to be fearless in owning our parts, and as psychologist Harriet Lerner teaches, to listen with the same passion with which we want to be heard….this is our cue to show up with an open heart and mind so we can serve the work and each other, not our egos.” ~ Brene Brown This interactive session will guide participants through creative processes which facilitate the evolution of the life force energy needed to courageously and lovingly live a most authentic life. During this imaginative, empowering mixed-media practice we will have the opportunity to unlock and follow our own inspiration and give ourselves permission to receive the exceptional gifts waiting for our acceptance. All creative supplies & materials will be included. Light refreshments provided. Limited seats available. Not able to make it to this first session? No worries! Mini workshops like this coming soon... CreativeWellnessRumblePost4.2.19

Arachnoiditis Survivors registered at the Art For Arachnoiditis Project receive this Creative Wellness Independent Study Program at no cost. https://artforarachnoiditis.org/2018/07/15/creative-wellness-program-for-survivors/ WellnessProgramCoversKalkbrenner72

Creating Drawings and Illustrations to Fund Charitable Art Projects and Creative Wellness Programs at SheilaLynnK Art Studio https://www.patreon.com/SheilaLynnKart PatreonCover4fb4drawingsATstudio7.18.18

WELCOME TO THE STUDIO APRIL 2018 https://youtu.be/eWqC54MBDDI OLYMPUS DIGITAL CAMERA

FOR WELLNESS SAKE ~ SPRINGING INTO SIMPLICITY Beginning April 16th 2018, inspired by my own #ScreenFree Week Goals; I will be making the art and wellness that I want to make and spending less time writing, talking, and posting about it on social media. I am choosing to have faith in the Patreon platform. My page at Patreon will continue to grow as the hub for all links, offers, and information about my work. You will still find the same free content for patrons and participants in charitable projects that you are used to seeing on my social media platforms but, instead you will find it at Patreon. Online messages are monitored on Tuesdays and Thursdays via the contact page on my website. http://sheilalynnkart.com/contact.html OBSERVING SCREEN FREE WEEK ~ I will be offline April 30th -May 6th. Updates about: The Art For Arachnoiditis Project, SWAN Days Allegany County NY, BOFA, Wellness Circles, Wellness Garden Adventures, The Tree Project,Events, Classes & Workshops, New projects, and THE ART will be in my studio, on my website, and at Patreon. It is FREE to follow along. FIND OUT MORE ABOUT THIS DECISION: https://www.patreon.com/posts/for-wellness-18038381 ScreenFreeChanges2018

Elusive Bloggy Moments of Clarity on: Video, Things, Brambles, and Resilience. http://sheilalynnkart.blogspot.com/2018/03/elusive-bloggy-moments-of-clarity-on.html QwertyShiftEZprintSLK

Tell an artist how much you value her Creative Work. Send a Custom Greeting of appreciation to a Woman Artist. DEADLINE: March 25th Cost $4 ea. (Includes postage and NYS sales tax) Via USPS she will receive this supportive message and ONE complimentary entry ($2 value) for a chance to win the Creative Wellness Theme Basket promoting our local resources. (Value has exceeded $100. Total value to be calculated after March 15th.) Custom greetings to be sent from the studio by the end of March. Creative Wellness Theme Basket Winner TBA April 9th. SWAN-o-Gram Custom Greetings are an official Fundraising Project of SWAN Days Allegany County, NY. https://www.patreon.com/posts/swan-o-gram-17263985 SWANoGramsSAMPLE2.27.18

How do you get creative in your pursuit of wellness? Tell us about it for a chance to win prizes. Prizes include art by Arachnoiditis Survivors and ONE winner will receive an Ostrich Cot like the one used for Reasonable Accommodations here at the studio. ENTRY DEADLINE: April 15th. https://www.patreon.com/posts/call-for-entries-17244248 CWWessayContestPrizeCover2.27.18

"Creative Wellness Works" First Exhibit of 2018 Exploring Natural Feminine Energy for Creative Wellness & Intentional Unity, Visions for a Well Future, Moving Meditation, Reasonable Accommodations, Balance, Physical Rehabilitation; these works include portraits, illustrations, paintings, coloring pages, and mixed-media art which address a variety of diverse issues confronted on a personal path to Independent Sustainable Wellness. Healing is happening. Find out more at: https://www.patreon.com/posts/first-show-2018-16257993 CWWeventPosterCollage1.5.18

Wishing all of you peace, patience, strength, WARMTH, and many joyful moments with the people who love and appreciate all of the wonderful things about you! (and all your other stuff, too). [BTW~When I opened my WU account today there were 132 notifications and 40-something messages. I am only online twice a week and simply cannot keep up with all of the mail from team WU. It's too much. If you are trying to reach me about a specific topic and I have missed your message in the midst of all of the seasonal sales announcements and offers jamming up my inbox; the best way to do so is through the contact page on my website. I am currently in no position to purchase ANYTHING. So, please use this message center for specific Q&A-types of correspondence or in reference to collaborative projects, etc. and not as a general sales pitch or spam message. Thank you for your consideration. ] ~Blessings to everyone on this Crazy Train! http://sheilalynnkart.com/contact.html CrazyTrainONcanvasSLK

Many thanks to all who participated in our Creative Wellness Circle under the New Moon in Libra. We are doing important Wellness work. This month we worked on clarifying our own definitions of masculine and feminine energy and finding balance and harmony between them within ourselves. "As within, so without" Sometimes it feels like we are trying to balance the weight of the world. We use our masculine energy to create the container that nurtures, supports and protects our feminine power. Within this safe place, together we thrive in Wellness. Finding balance between the masculine and feminine energies within promotes balance without. These energies naturally exist in a perpetual ebb and flow organic to our individual life experiences. READ MORE ABOUT THIS in The Creative Wellness Circle Newsletter http://us11.campaign-archive.com/?u=fca23c0aae036821aaad16d15&id=7c5f2e059c NewsCollageNOV2017

Making room for more Art and Wellness: Autumn in the Northern Hemisphere, people and animals are preparing for the winter months ahead. During the waning moon, it seems like a good time to make room for the things I need most in the challenging months ahead. This Waning Moon Monday Challenge: every day, for the next seven days, I am going to remove nine things which no longer serve me. From Top to Bottom...evacuation of the big, small, emotional, physical, habits, perishable items, etc.…All of the Things that must go to make room for my intentions for Winter Wellness. What do you need to move out to make room for Wellness? Share as much or as little as you like. I will be posting my daily nine here: https://www.patreon.com/posts/making-room-for-14785455 CCI10122016-2waningMoonSLK

PROGRAM COST: $35 The Creative Wellness Program is Ready! This detailed video gives in depth information about what is included in the program. The pdf containing the ENTIRE FIVE MODULES OF CONTENT OF THE CREATIVE WELLNESS PROGRAM will be posted in my Patreon Activity Feed. When you subscribe at $35 ; upon confirmation of payment you will be able to unlock this content in the activity feed. (You will also immediately get access to unlock all of the prior Patron-Only Rewards accessible at the lesser subscription levels at this time.) Unsubscribe anytime. If you provide your mailing address at this time, a complimentary I Stand For Love 2018 Calendar with 365 days of Creative Inspiration from Sarah Love, will be mailed to you. (In the continental United States.) SHARING THE WELLNESS When you SUBSCRIBE TO RECEIVE your Creative Wellness Program Content, not only are you getting quality content to assist you in your own Transformation to Wellness; you are also providing that same content to an eligible Spinal Arachnoiditis Survivor . https://www.patreon.com/posts/creative-program-14561491 programpromoCollage9.26.17

It's officical~ The Creative Wellness Garden at SheilaLynnK Art Studio is now an "Officially Certified" and registered Wildlife Habitat in the National Wildlife Federation's Network of Habitats. NWFcertificateSLK9.16.17

Introducing my Fall 2017 Creative Wellness Program Exploring the Nature of Now; this year we will work through weekly activities to learn more about implementing these Five Keys to Sustainable Independent Wellness. Shelter Joy Adaptability Autonomy Sustenance Later this month, enrollment announcements and relevant links TBA here: https://www.patreon.com/posts/2017-creative-14289751 DSC09029TXslk9.8.17

Just got back from a very UNPLUGGED-for-Six-Days vacation in the Catskill Mountains with no internet and no cell phone service. I am getting caught up on email and messages as quickly as I can. If you haven't heard back from me about an urgent matter, please be sure to send a NEW private message so that it will get bumped up in my mailing lists. DSC08662

"DNR #CancerSucks" August 2017~ (12" x 12" Acrylic on Stretched Canvas) will be on display during the Belfast Organization for Artists Annual Art Show at the Belfast Public Library in Belfast NY. My FREE Quarterly Newsletter tells more about upcoming studio events and my work that will be out and about in the world in August. http://mailchi.mp/sheilalynnkart/sheilalynnk-art-studio-quarterly-news?e=67321cf0ce OLYMPUS DIGITAL CAMERA

Growing Creative Wellness #OnPatreon #wuvip https://www.patreon.com/posts/growing-creative-5760345 OLYMPUS DIGITAL CAMERA

I have been an absent WU member for a bit. I have been making art for my own personal Wellness...because that is what works best for me. Now, I am sharing that process and the outcome with You. Grief changes our personal landscape. Nature saw fit to take my Trees while I was processing the Grief of losing my Sister. The muses came forth and have given me an extremely tangible method to express the raw grieving process and pay tribute to those who stand strong when we need it most... in 3D. My small creative Tree Project about BIG feelings was finished in time for Memorial Day! The "little big reveal" is coming soon. Right Now, I am in the process of creating and posting a few short films about the inspiration of the project and how it developed and evolved as I worked on it. Patrons get special previews and private access to portions of the project first. But, everyone can check out the public posts to get the back story and see the free public releases in my Tree Project feed here: https://www.patreon.com/SheilaLynnKart/posts?tag=TreeProject Nature knows that Timing is Everything. I am Thankful for my blessings and recognize that this Empty Space leaves a place for something new to grow. AfterTheStorm5.1.17slkHighRes