One of the most important assets in your business is your mailing list. While creating trust and connection is essential across your business and marketing, it’s incredibly important when it comes to your mailing list. People have come to your website and decided that not only do they want to receive more from you, but to allow you in their inbox.⁣ ⁣ There was a time when we were all excited about email, but now? We’re inundated on a daily basis by spam, work, family, and friends. Email is overwhelming and most people will avoid any unnecessary email at all costs. So the first thing to recognize is someone has chosen to allow you to send them emails and that action should be treated with the utmost respect.⁣ ⁣ That said, don’t be afraid to email your list! Many people will begin building a list and avoid emailing about promotions or sending out articles on a regular basis. The fact is, if someone opts into your list, then doesn’t hear from you for months, when you finally send them a message, they’re likely to unsubscribe because they won’t remember why the opted in at all. Additionally, if you only email promotions to your list, most people will opt out.⁣ ⁣ Your email list is a huge opportunity to build trust and relationships with your audience. The goal is to provide them with high quality content on a regular basis and keep promotions to a minimum. chad-madden-7HuBEZaehSE-unsplash

There was one specific element that allowed me to call in exactly what I wanted this last year, consistently. Everything from the perfect 4Runner for adventures into the wilderness... to the exact apartment I envisioned in the canyon I love... to the clients, projects, and income I wanted to hit... to a sweet, kind, handsome soul who truly sees and hears me in all the ways that matter. Decision. I didn't just declare that I wanted what I wanted. I didn't just visualize and get clear on the details. I didn't just 'do things' to move towards it. I decided. Like really, truly, full body and soul decided. You know the difference... but it's mostly unconscious. Think about a time you already decided what you wanted. Maybe it was your favorite dish at your favorite restaurant. Maybe it was the new phone you knew you were going to buy when it was time for an upgrade. Whatever it was, you had already decided. And that decision influenced the ways in which you showed up from that moment on. There was no looking at the menu. No considering the options or exploring possibilities. No research to be done or pros and cons to be weighed. You were decided. And you acted accordingly. How you showed up in the world shifted. What you wanted was inevitable. THAT. That is the key to having exactly what you want. I'm sharing a few specific experiences in more detail in today's vlog. For you... but also as a reminder to myself of what's possible when we decide it is. As Tracy Goss writes in my favorite book, Last Word on Power, "you have total authority with regard to what you say is possible and not possible in your future." Total authority, friends. T-O-T-A-L. But, only if you decide that you do. Have you decided? 20190116_135446

Suicide isn’t selfish... it’s not simply a mental health issue either. To pass it off as such is both ignorant and damaging. This is just one reason why it’s more important than ever for ALL OF US to talk about what’s hard and what hurts. To be honest and stop hiding behind polished facades on perfectly manicured profiles. To share our own stories and struggles, because we are NEVER the only one experiencing something, even though it can absolutely feel that way. People take their own life for many reasons. Just because you’ve never experienced that level of pain doesn’t mean it’s not actually real and unbearable. Making the choice to stay is hard for many... it was hard for me. It doesn’t make people weak, it makes them human. We all process, experience, and feel our way through this life in different ways. How we talk about this matters. What we do and say beyond the “it’s only temporary” and “it gets better” social media posts matters. Whether or not we’re willing and able to truly care and listen matters. Watch your words. They matter. ❤️ 33913033_396559594158471_5843128411492450304_n1

Learning how to claim what I desire in a big way has been an adventure in and of itself. Learning to say HELL YES to what I want to create and who I want to be—with every fiber of my being—has required stripping myself, my life, and my work down to the bones... all so that I can rebuild in a way that’s far more aligned. It’s required a whole new level of honesty. A willingness to leap. The courage to risk failing spectacularly if that’s what it takes. You have to be willing to say “fuck it,” which isn’t about not caring. It’s about choosing to pour yourself into what you want to create with everything you have inside of you... without concern for what other people think. With full awareness of the risks, but without allowing them to hold you back. It’s about placing your time, attention, and energy in the places that matter most. I know what I want. I know what it will require of me. So, fuck it. I’m giving it everything I have to give. Doing big work in DC this week and loving these words from Jennifer Lee: “Be fearless in the pursuit of what sets your soul on fire.” 💛 Untitled-design-9

A timely reminder from year ago me: “These moments remind me that life is short and unpredictable, and that we should always fight like hell for what we truly desire. That things are never as simple as they seem on the surface, and that we can never truly understand another person's path. They taught me to trust myself and my intuition more deeply. And they forced me to learn how to receive support. More than anything though, they taught me what it truly means to be broken, how to rise up stronger than ever before, and that I can survive anything.” 30867827_1718754648209888_6800635887748120576_n

What if, right? What if we could just trust ourselves to KNOW when we know? To honor what feels right and true? Gaslighting is an epidemic we don't talk a lot about... because we often don't realize it's happening. That's the game. Gaslighting is when we're manipulated into questioning our own sanity... our own reality. When we're told that what we experienced didn't actually happen, or that what we're feeling and perceiving is wrong. It's crazymaking. And when you've experienced a tremendous amount of it, you literally can't tell what's actually happening, internally or externally. It's often subtle, but it can also be overt. It can be a conscious tactic, or it can be an unconscious habit. Either way, it has a HUGE impact on our ability to trust ourselves. When I talk to my friends about what's going on for me lately, I've been hearing a lot of, "you sound really clear." Because I am. FINALLY. After years of not being able to tell what was real and true—of questioning myself, my mind, my sanity, my reality—I trust myself to know. I trust myself regardless of what someone else might want me to believe. I no longer allow them to have a say. There are times when we're uncertain... and those are the times to explore. To feel in and lean in. To ask for help and seek outside perspectives. And there are times we just KNOW. You can just know things. Regardless of what anyone else has to say. That's allowed. ❤️ Untitled-design-4

Thank you to those who hurt me, breaking me wide open, so I can experience love more fully. Thank you rock bottom for grounding me so I can stand taller. Thank you rejection for guiding me to the right people and experiences. Thank you loneliness for giving me the capacity to appreciate connection, and the desire to brave depth. Thank you sadness, pain, and depression for deepening the range in which I can experience joy, happiness, and fulfillment. Thank you to the lost years for prompting me to find myself and my passions. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. As I settle further into myself and my truth, open my heart more fully to others, and step more deeply into the work I’m here to do, I’m overwhelmed with gratitude for everything I’ve been through in this little life of mine. Every. Single. Thing. I wouldn’t be able to love so fully, deeply, and passionately had I not experienced the losses I’ve experienced. I wouldn’t be able to smile so big, laugh so hard, and feel so absolutely in love with life had I not been cut so deeply over the years. I wouldn’t be able to appreciate the business I’ve built and the work I get to do had I not struggled so hard to get things off the ground. Had I not failed miserably more times than I can count. I wouldn’t be so fully and completely myself—and so comfortable in who that is—had I not gotten so disconnected to begin with. I don’t believe we have to struggle or suffer to experience the good. Not at all. I just know that all the struggles and challenges throughout my life are the reason I’m where I stand today. And I love where I am, who I am, what I’m doing, and who I’m surrounded by. Sometimes we struggle. Sometimes life is heartbreakingly hard. It’s what we choose to do with it that matters. How we choose to write ourselves into the ending of those stories and what chapters we choose to step into next. 💛 29094709_1985890458341266_3148703445968486400_n1

“I think I’m just... good?” This has been my response lately when people ask how I am. It’s half statement, half a question of, "are you sure that's allowed considering all the things happening that could be very upsetting?" The things that hurt my heart. The times support fell through like whoa. The insanely graceful way I thought I broke my leg. The bumps and transitions and stress and strain. The upper limiting like a MOFO. I've talked before about how I used to find comfort in the chaos. Despite the hurt and the heartache, I KNEW how to be broken and struggling and in pain. I knew how to suffer and I knew it well. I could operate in life from that place with a certain level of ease. And now? All the things are happening and... I THINK I'M JUST GOOD. I'm okay. I'm happy. I'm whole. I'm still moving. I'm still growing. I’m fully supported. I'm making it all happen. I'm just... GOOD. Really, really good. Because I've made the choice to be. I've made the choice to STOP engaging in old stories and beliefs and patterns. To know that hard and challenging things happen in life, but that doesn't mean I can't still be okay or good or even—*gasp*—GREAT. To stop entertaining the old parts of me that want to FREAK OUT, and instead focus on facing forward while continually making the choice to step into what's next. To BE the person I want to be NOW, despite all the things happening around me. Life doesn't happen “to” us... it happens around us. For us. Because of us. Despite of us. Life happens. And man does that suck sometimes. But we get to choose how to engage with it. How to respond and react to it. How to grow or change because of it. We get to choose what meaning to give the things that happen. To take back our power and create magic from the messes. I have my moments. But they’re just that... passing moments. I'm just good, you guys. Really, really good. You can be too. It's a choice. And choice is everything. 💕 28428965_416267192140921_5990747751715962880_n1

Living the #ThankYouMorePlease life (aka, stepping into the flow, manifesting magic, and creating amazing new opportunities/possibilities left and right) includes a MASSIVE level of upper limiting. Because damn... it can be magical and beautiful and seamless at times, but it stretches you so much further than you've ever stretched before. So. Much. Further. So you rest and self-care. Have a good cry and talk to good friends. Trust and release, trust and release. Binge Netflix like it's your job. And spend as much time in nature as you can. Easing yourself into this new place. Nurturing yourself through the expansion. Most importantly, you keep CHOOSING to BE who you need to be to grow into this next level of living, loving, and creating. Which means when fear and doubt come knocking, you say "nope, not interested... I'm choosing to move in a new direction and there's no going backward." Thank you, more please. Thank you, more please. Thank you, more please. It's always a choice. ✨ ig

I want to tell you about the work I’ve been doing for the last... year or more? Work around finding healing and wholeness after my last two relationships (after all of them, really). Coming home to myself, my truth, my center. Reclaiming my voice and learning how to take up more space. Finding integration and balance where I’ve been massively fragmented and confused. Learning to feel safe inside an experience that has previously felt like anything but. I want to tell you about how hard it’s been to work with the parts of me that became separated over the years... what a struggle it’s been to honor them in all their differences, merge them together, and make sense of how to operate in my life, work, and relationships from this new, tender space. I don’t know how to tell these stories or share these lessons yet. Not when I’ve kept this part of my life and healing so close to my heart for so long. But I will, soon. Because just like every other journey I’ve walked in the last few years, it’s come back to choice (and you know I love talking about choice). Choosing to do the work. Choosing to push my edges. Choosing to ask for help. Choosing to show up differently. Choosing to trust myself above all else. Choosing to face the parts that hurt. Choosing to heal and find wholeness. Choosing to let go and forgive. Choosing to own my roles. Choosing to let go of my patterns. Choosing to step into new ways of being. Choosing to face the fears. I am SO ready to finish writing this next book of mine... because life, love, and loss gave me so many opportunities to learn these lessons and grow because of them. So. Many. Opportunities. In all areas of my life and work. (I mean, I think I could write five books after everything, but I’ll start with #TheUnravelBook first...) Choice, friends. Choice is everything. Choice gives us back our power. Choice allows us to create what we desire. Choice is how we rise up and come back. Choice. Every moment of every day 20180107_102139

People like to focus solely on the glass being half full, the shiny side of the coin. But we only know the glass is half full because it's half empty. We only see the sparkle of the shiny side because of the dirt and grime that coats the other. Can we see them on their own? Absolutely. But it's only in contrast that we see the true fullness, richness, and brilliance. I believe in seeing the good. I believe in embracing the lessons and the gifts. I believe that there's always light inside the darkness. I also know that many times it takes seeing, acknowledging, and truly immersing yourself in the darkness to find the light. The true, real, life-changing light. Not the light we fabricate upfront because we're afraid of the dark... afraid to focus on the "negative" and all that hurts and is hard. But the real light and wisdom and gifts that come in their own time. With patience. While sitting in the darkness and feeling the feelings all the way through. I prefer to live life inside the layers, right on the line where both sides converge. This is the sweet spot, where the magic truly happens and wisdom fully emerges. Life is a mess of duality... contradicting emotions and mixed experiences. If you neglect to focus on both sides of that duality, you miss the depth and richness that it brings. My life is richer and more magical these days because I've embraced both the gifts AND the gut-wrenching heartbreak. Because I've acknowledged the fullness of the glass, as well as the emptiness. Because I've always chosen to witness the sparkle while also experiencing and appreciating the grime. I'm happier, more fulfilled, and more on purpose than ever before because I sit inside both experiences as much as possible. Not dismissing or washing over one with the other, not bypassing, and not stewing or staying stuck. Because I let things be both frustrating and growth-inducing, challenging and beautiful, awful and inspiring. Don't be afraid of the grime... of the emptiness inside the glass. It only makes the part you want to focus on that much brighter and more beautiful... it will expand your capacity for experiencing the light. 20171211_110541

Words from a year ago, because December. 💛 Time doesn't heal all wounds. Some will never fully mend, nor are they meant to. Not in this lifetime anyway, not with loss. Some wounds run so deep you don't know where they still hurt until you accidentally scrape a scab that stayed perfectly out of site. And, somehow, that tiny hidden scab has the ability to reopen the entire wound. For a tiny moment in time, you're right back where you started. December is a hard month. For a lot of people, myself included. Never forget that hidden amongst all the merry is a heap of heartbreak. This isn't just a season of presents and pretty lights on all the houses. Not for everyone. For many, it's a season of remembering. The good times. The hard times. And while I believe in the power of presence in each moment, there's so much healing to be had inside the remembering. Inside the tears that will inevitably flow alongside it. The firsts and seconds, and the anniversaries of lasts. Grief is a byproduct of love. And this is a season of loving and remembering. If you're remembering, my heart is with you. If you're not, give some grace and love to those that are. 20171207_111327

I've said it before and I'll say it again: Writing a book is so very far from glamorous. At least the book I'm attempting to write and the stories I'm attempting to share. A book about the last three years of my life... a season of living that broke me open and stripped me bare. That left my life and business and self in a mess of pieces on the floor. A season that ripped everything known and comfortable and secure from my hands, and left me fighting so hard just to stay upright. To find my footing in the aftermath of so much loss. But that season, it gave so much more than it took... though it required time and patience and a whole lot of surrender to the unknown. So much willingness to let go, to trust, to have faith that I was exactly where I was supposed to be, even as everything crumbled to the ground around me. There are many stories I don't want to tell you, because they were so incredibly painful to live through that I'm not entirely sure I can survive the remembering that’s required for writing this book. Yet, I always knew writing it would be a deeper layer of healing that's all things necessary and good. And so far, that's the case. My heart aches at the memories as they pour out of me onto the page. And it swells with gratitude for everything I've walked through in the last three years. That season of living shaped me in ways I'll never forget and will always be stronger for, and while writing this book I'm constantly reminded of these words from Amber Haines: "One day I will find myself in the wilderness again, and I will be unafraid." I have never been so confident in my ability to survive and thrive than I am in this moment... as I remember, and write about, the most hellacious chapter of my life. We are truly resilient creatures, with an ability to grow and find purpose and joy in the aftermath the most awful experiences. But it takes clawing our way back from the depths of hell to know that in our bones. I am both excited and terrified to share this book with you. Soon. Download the introduction here: www.callofthevoid.tv/book/ 20171109_102455

We're often looking for answers. We want to know how to heal, how to uncover our passions and purpose, or whether or not we should stay in a job or relationship. We want to know how to grow our business and make more money, or how to stop battling with crippling anxiety and fear. We want to know a certain something and we want to know it now. Sometimes the answers are right there and we get clarity for moving forward quickly. And sometimes the answers require play and experimentation. A gentle digging into what we're drawn to and how we operate or respond. An uncovering of what makes us feel happy and whole, and what makes us feel frustrated and tense. A series of questions to feel into and possibilities to explore. And sometimes the work requires us to face into things that feel totally irrelevant or unrelated. Things we don't want to acknowledge or feel we don't have time to look at. There's no one path or process. There's no right way that works for everyone. There's no clear map anyone can sell you. There's only you, doing the work each block, trauma, wound, or growth point requires you to do. No two paths to healing and growing are the same, not even when it's the same person... and everything you're facing in your life or health or work has an impact or effect on something else in your life or health or work. The sooner you surrender to the process and allow things to unfold as they're meant to—healing and clearing and growing along the way—the sooner you get what you desire. Though it may look nothing like you thought it would. Trust the process. 20171025_122911

I've been bumping up against a lot of my edges the last few months. Leaning in when I'd rather pull back. Facing forward when I'd rather turn away. Learning new ways of being when I'd rather stay in a familiar groove. I'm far from graceful in this process. So very, very far from it. But I keep showing up. I keep learning new things, all while leaning on my friends and healing team for support. I'm asking the hard questions and cultivating a willingness to sit inside the unknown for waaaaay longer than is comfortable. I'm doing the work, day in and day out. All because I refuse to settle for a life that's less than I know I'm capable of living, that's not fully aligned with what I desire to create. There's a powerhouse inside me who's been blocked by trauma and PTSD. While there's wisdom in waiting for things to unfold as they're meant to—in allowing the time and space for healing—there's also power in saying enough is enough and doing the work to create something new, something different, something better. So, I keep showing up. I keep pushing my edges. I keep doing the work. @HannahBrencher says it beautifully: "The resistance has been there consistently each day. The liars still show up at the door. The thoughts of 'I can’t do this' rattle in my brain. But I am doing it. I am walking towards what scares me. I am putting something I love first because I am afraid to wake up one day and realize I only watched but never participated." Onward. 20171016_132535

This last year taught me patience. It taught me how to truly slow down, be still, and move intentionally. How to make decisions from a place of deep truth, rather than whim. Inside the anxiety that stemmed from my trauma I was forced to learn an entirely new way of operating in my life, work, and relationships. Any time I moved forward with something that wasn't 100% aligned, anxiety would snap me back to the start until I really felt things through. Until I really knew what the right next step was for me. There was, and continues to be, no way around this. I can no longer "push through" unless my heart, mind, body, and soul are 100% on board... with all things big and small and everything in between. This has been one of the most frustrating experiences of my life. And it's also something I'm beyond grateful for. It was almost a year ago when I learned to say "enough is enough" and started choosing a new life, a new path, and a new way of being. When I started committing wholeheartedly to the person I want to become and the work I feel called to do. When I stopped participating in the kinds of relationships and experiences that weren't aligned for me. Learning patience has been everything, because being intentional in all that I do is so very necessary for what comes next. Which means a lot of pausing. Taking steps back. Sitting in stillness and staring at ceilings. Feeling things all the way through. And not moving until I know that I know. (Maybe not everything, but at least the next step.) My life and work and relationships will be infinitely better in the days, weeks, months, and years to come because of this. Patience. Everything right happens in its right time. Be willing to wait for that deep knowing. And take it one intentional step at a time. You're moving forward, even though it doesn't look or feel like it. 20171009_120726

It doesn't feel good sometimes... change, growth, healing. Doing the work of coming home to yourself and facing your traumas and creating what you desire is hard, soul stretching work. It forces you to push your edges further and further, so you can heal and clear and grow and change. Pushing our edges doesn't feel good, because we're bumping up against what's hard and what hurts, all so we can take a tiny step forward. All so we can reclaim the parts of ourselves that we lost, while also defining a new normal as the baseline for what comes next. I'm good right now. So good in ways I haven't been in awhile. But I don't always feel good... because I'm doing the deep work and pushing my edges and facing what's hard and what hurts. So I can heal fully, let go of the past fully, and move forward with more grace and ease. The not feeling good? To be expected. Necessary. Part of the process. When we make big changes it doesn't always feel good... sometimes for awhile. But that's just what change feels like. Literally. Actually. Physically. Learning new ways of being, rewiring patterns and beliefs, pushing new edges, creating new habits... it doesn't always feel good, but it's just what your cells feel like as they change. Your heart. Your brain. Your soul. Trust the process. Stay the course 20171002_104533

One day I'll tell you the story of what it felt like to finally make sense of the madness that is my trauma. The way the realizations and relief brought me to tears, because the struggle to find my footing finally had an end in sight. The months and years of fighting like hell to come home to myself wasn't just insanity in action... but instead, proof again that trusting yourself above any and all else is *the most* important thing you can ever do. Never abandon yourself for the sake of what others think is right and true. Never give up on finding the answers, even when the journey is long and frustrating and leaves you more confused than when you started. Never settle for a life or a way of being that's less than you desire, regardless of how "normal" it seems for everyone else. Have your own back. Be your own advocate. And never give up on yourself. 20170922_083706

Never settle for the answers and explanations that don't land quite right for you, regardless of the level of "expertise" the person sharing it may have. Experience is valid and real and helpful. But experience is based in the past. A different time. A different person. A different situation. We don't know everything there is to know about anything. Not even "the experts" do. New insights and discoveries and information come out every day. The people you pay good money to help you... the ones who figured out how to heal or become successful for themselves... they don't know everything, and they definitely don't know what's right for YOU. You are the only person who knows for certain. So be fiercely committed to honoring what feels true. Don't be afraid to keep asking the hard questions, following the intuitive nudges, and seeking out the answers and information that will actually guide you to where you want to be. No matter how many people tell you otherwise. No matter how many times you're told to move in another direction. Stay fiercely committed to your own growth and healing, because no one else can do that for you. 20170918_121305

I'm learning to hit pause when I feel myself leaning into old patterns and ways of being that I don't want to operate from anymore... especially when I have no idea what I want instead, or what it means to do things differently. I'm learning to stand still for as long as it takes to FEEL INTO what comes next, no matter how "stubborn" or "overthinking" it may seem. Operating on whims and "let's just see what happens when I wander that random way," no longer suits me unless it FEELS aligned for who I am and who I want to become. Unless I'm drawn to wander or experiment in ways that feel right for me. Overthinking can be bad, it's true. But so can not thinking and feeling things through. I don't need to know how it will all turn out. I don't need clear answers to every question rattling around my head or pulsing through my heart. I don't even need to know what steps two and three and beyond are. I just need to know that the next step I take—however small or seemingly insignificant—is RIGHT for ME. So, I pause. I stand still. And I'll do it for as long as it takes. Because I'm choosing to create a life and business and relationships from a much more conscious and intentional space than I ever have before. One day, one moment, one step at a time. 20170913_095338