You know things could be better and you are committed to making the necessary changes. You’re motivated. Why then is change so difficult? Here’s why. You have, what is called, in NLP lingo, an Internal Map of Reality—an internal processing strategy and system, a life script, that takes what you experience (your sensory input) and processes it internally in various ways in accordance with the meanings you have assigned and associated. This processing creates the life you experience.
This Internal Map of Reality developed as you grew up, and was principally influenced by your primary and secondary care givers and was organized to create the maximum level of safety for you. For example, If your parents were kind and loving and open-minded, they might have given you the freedom to examine possibilities and make your own choices. In this scenario, you would probably feel safe. If on the other hand, they were narrow-minded, fearful, or had their own emotional baggage, it might have been very unsafe to believe or choose something they didn’t want you to. This also applies to what you thought was important, how you made decisions and every other aspect of your life. After all, they know what’s best for you. Many times parent attempt a second chance at life through their children, but that’s a discussion for another time.
Look, your Internal Map of Reality, your life script was fashioned (in large part) in consistency to your parents (or primary care givers) life script. Take a moment; think about your childhood. Observe the parallels between you and your parents; the good, the bad, and the ugly. Did you have any “oh me” moments? So, you grow up leave home with the script that had been developed while growing up, but the world out there isn’t like your family situation, and the strategies you formed during childhood can create problems when applied outside your family environment. In fact, your Internal Map of Reality will be predisposed to draw you to people and circumstances that mirror your family and blind you to other options.
Now, here’s the rub, anything that gives the impression of changing the status quo may trigger resistance in you—even when you intentionally want the change. It’s called homeostasis. Here is the definition of homeostasis:
1)the tendency of a system, especially the physiological system of higher animals, to maintain internal stability, owing the tendency of a system, especially the physiological system of higher animals, to maintain internal stability, owing to the coordinated response of its parts to any situation or stimulus tending to disturb its normal condition or function.
2)a state of psychological equilibrium obtained when tension or a drive has been reduced or eliminated.
Since your mind creates or attracts more of whatever you focus on, placing your attention on what you want to avoid is not resourceful. It tends to create or attract more of what you want to avoid in your life. In all probability, Thea, you don’t notice when you’re doing this. It emerges from the subconscious mind, just beneath your conscious awareness. You might want to begin the practice of observing your thinking. Learn how to recognize when you’re focusing on what you don’t want, what you are worried about, what you’re afraid of, what you want to avoid. When you notice this happening, shift your focus, to what you want.
Why not learn the Key to Conscious Transformation and get the tools you need to more successfully navigate to your desired outcomes in every area of your life.
Yours in Victorious Living,
