Ever since I was little…
I’ve been aware of a fundamental connection to something larger than myself. Being raised Jewish, I learned to call it God.
I loved going to synagogue and taking part in Junior Congregation. I always got swept up in the sounds and cadence of the Hebrew prayers, visually grooving on the light coming through the windows of clear or stained glass. Sometimes I’d read the English translations of the prayers, but they always created a feeling of separation — and what I craved was the sense of deep connection and oneness I’d experience in the vibration of sounds and ancient melodies chanted in community.
As I grew up and moved on to my hippie high school and college days, I found other ways to bridge that gap between this world and the Divine (marijuana being my favorite). There were also lots of struggles with depression and anxiety, and a very human ability to be seduced by bright, shiny objects, be they gurus or ideologies or physical objects, including the persistent quest for true love. I was so easily pulled off track, especially just when I thought I’d “finally gotten somewhere.”
It took me a long while to understand that there is no actual “there” that I will ever get to, and that it’s a relief to stop looking outside myself for it.
When I discovered the concept of non-duality, I felt like I’d come home in a most essential way. Through my studies of Kabbalah, Buddhism and other ancient mystical teachings, the path of forgetting and remembering became less painful and more empowering.
It also helped when I learned to not believe every thought in my head.
We all have the ability to do this, to question our thinking, to embody peace, even if it feels like a radio station that fades in and out at times (because it is; static is part of the programming). It’s mostly about slowing down and listening deeply, two things that are not given much respect in this world of information overload. High speed, next generation wireless networks keep us always plugged…